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- 📣 How to Finally Silence Your Inner Critic (Without Just “Thinking Positive”)
📣 How to Finally Silence Your Inner Critic (Without Just “Thinking Positive”)
WELCOME!
Hi everyone! It’s Kaley.
⚡In This Week’s Issue:
A proven method to silence your inner critic.
A quick tip to strengthen your self-belief.
A question to help you understand what’s really holding you back from saying what you want.
A QUICK TIP TO STRENGTHEN YOUR SELF-BELIEF
The “If I Trusted Myself…” Prompt
When you’re stuck overthinking a decision or trying to get it “right,” pause and ask, “If I trusted myself fully, I would…”
đź§ Why it works: It bypasses overthinking and taps into your gut instinct.
👉 Use it when you're stuck in indecision.
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ONE CLEAR THOUGHT: A question to challenge your thinking & shift your perspective.
đź’¬ Take 5 minutes. No perfect answers, just your truth:
Where am I hesitating to speak up, and why?
📝 How this helps: If you understand what’s stopping you, you can decide whether it’s worth staying quiet.
🔍 DEEP DIVE
📣 How to Finally Silence Your Inner Critic (Without Just “Thinking Positive”)
If you’re a high-achieving woman, chances are you know the voice.
The one that says:
“You should have this figured out by now. You’re not experienced enough to lead at this level. You only got here because you work harder than everyone else. Sooner or later, they’ll realise you’re not as capable as they think.”
That’s your inner critic.
It can erode confidence, fuel burnout and sabotage your ability to lead with calm authority.
The truth is, positive thinking won’t stop it.
Before you can change it, you need to understand how it works and why it shows up in the first place.
Let’s dive in.
What Your Inner Critic Really Is
Your inner critic isn’t a personal flaw, it’s your brain trying to protect you.
Positive Psychology shows the brain has a negativity bias.
A tendency to focus on threats, risks and what could go wrong, including perceived failure, rejection or judgment.
For high-performing women, this bias is often amplified by perfectionism, fear of not meeting expectations and past experiences of being judged or underestimated.
The result is a harsh internal monologue that sounds productive, but quietly undermines your clarity and confidence.
Why “Just Be More Positive” Doesn’t Work
Positive thinking can help, but only when it feels genuine.
Your brain doesn’t buy fake optimism, and it knows the difference.
Forcing it creates more internal friction and leaves you feeling more frustrated.
The solution isn’t fighting your inner critic, it’s retraining how you respond to it.
A Practical, Brain-Based Way to Shift Your Inner Critic
1. Catch the Voice Early
Before you can change anything, you need to notice it first.
Start by noticing your critical thoughts without judging them.
Don’t argue with them. Don’t try to shut them down. Just label them.
For example, when your negative self-talk starts, say, “Ah, that’s my inner critic talking.”
Referring to it in the third person helps create space between you and the thought, so you can respond with clarity instead of self-doubt.
2. Name the Pattern, Not the Problem
Your brain loves patterns.
It repeats familiar thoughts because they feel safe, not because they’re true.
Instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?”, ask:
“Where have I heard this before?”
“What’s the pattern here?”
đź’ˇ Action: Write down your top 3 recurring inner critic lines. Next to each, write:
“This is a habit, not a fact.”
This simple act starts to break the loop.
3. Interrupt the Pattern with Clarity
When your inner critic ramps up, your nervous system goes into threat mode, and clear, rational thinking shuts down.
đź’ˇ Tip: When your inner critic starts, use this micro-intervention to reset and ground yourself:
Name 5 things you can see
Name 4 things you can touch
Name 3 things you can hear
Name 2 things you can smell
Take 1 slow breath
This signals safety to your brain and helps restore calm and clear thinking.
4. Shift to Evidence-Based Self-Talk
Your critic thrives on unfounded doubts.
Replace them with real examples of what you know to be true.
💡 Action: Replace “I don’t think I can do this.” with:
“I’ve led teams through complex projects. I know how to handle this.”
It’s not about being positive. It’s about being accurate and building trust in yourself.
5. Use Future-Focused Framing
Inner critics often fixate on what might go wrong.
Shift your mental focus to how you want to show up, not what you’re afraid might happen.
đź’ˇ Tip: Ask:
“What would the most grounded version of me do next?”
“What do I want to walk away from this moment proud of?”
This helps move your thinking away from fear and towards calm, intentional action.
Final Thoughts
Your inner critic doesn’t define you; it’s a mental habit you can rewire.
By understanding the science, spotting the patterns and using practical strategies to disrupt the loop, you reclaim your clarity and authority, without faking confidence or sacrificing your wellbeing.
Confidence isn’t about being loud or fearless.
It’s about learning to lead from the inside out, with awareness, calm and intention.
đź’ˇ Action: This week, to kick-start real change, try catching your inner critic once and respond with clarity, not self-judgment.
If You Want to Dive Deeper…
🎤 TED Talk – Your Inner Critic Is a Big Jerk — Don’t Listen to It by Danielle Krysa. Funny, relatable and to the point. Krysa speaks directly to creative and professional self-doubt. Watch it.
📚 Book - Playing Big by Tara Mohr. This is a go-to for women navigating self-doubt, imposter syndrome and the inner critic in leadership. Mohr blends Positive Psychology with highly practical tools, including a powerful framework for identifying and managing our inner critic. Read it.*
* I may earn a small commission if you buy through this link. It’s via Bookshop.org, a B Corp that supports independent bookstores with every purchase.
BEFORE YOU GO…
Here’s How I Can Help
If you’re a woman who struggles with self-doubt or pressure at a senior leadership level, I can help you lead with more confidence and calm.
I offer 1:1 coaching designed to be practical, personalised and results-focused.
Find out more by clicking below:
Thanks for reading.
Until next time,
Kaley
PS. If you have any questions, just reply to this email. I’d love to hear from you!
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